915 replies to this topic

[Cactus In The Rear]

Linksdx, on 04 March 2014 - 10:59 AM, said:

what model cause if its in a brawler type then holy god i bow my head to you ...that and i wonder what sort of people your facing since rule one of killing a atlas in to kill the right torso

XL400 1gauss 6ML 1LRM10 and each time I got that much all 3 side torsos were open by the end.

For the record I had an XL in it to close the distance and the gauss for the same reason.

Edited by Xanilos, 04 March 2014 - 11:24 AM.

[Tustle]

463. The mech' is only called a Battlemaster. In no way shape or form does it make you yourself an automatic 'Battle Master.'

464. There is no Autocannon classification above a 20. Stop scaring the rookies with stories of enemy mechs' carrying 'class 40 Autocannons.'

465. Mechwarrior Heffay's parody song 'Rig's on Fire' is for listening in the barracks. It is not for playing over your mech's loudspeakers or the comms whenever you're mounting flamers. The same can be said for the song it parodies.

[StompingOnTanks]

466. You are never allowed to question why the Raven-2X to your left has an LRM-5 in place of the SRM-6, or why the Catapult to your left is chain-firing his missiles MW4 style, or why the Stalker to your right is chain-firing his SRMs MW4 style, or why the Autocannons on the Jagermech to your right appear to actually be automatic. based on the number of spent cases being ejected.

[Cactus In The Rear]

468. Spectators tell many tales.

[IraqiWalker]

471. Iron men rust, and need good maintenance. Make sure when you're giving sergeant Marack his daily dose of W.D. 40 to pay attention to the joints above all else to prevent rust in hard to reach places.

472. Blasting a "catchy" top 40 song out of your mech's speakers over unit comms during a live op is going to up set your unit mates. It's not their fault if you "didn't hear" their warnings about the "enemies" that snuck up behind you and double legged you.

473. Referring to Awesomes as "Fatties" or "Barn sides" in front of awesome pilots is known to be detrimental to your dental health.

474. Just because you have the biggest gun in the unit does not mean that you are the "main man". Nor does it allow you to go "Man Mode" and charge a full lance with one AC20 thinking it would intimidate them.

[Cactus In The Rear]

475. Eating Taco Bell will not give you a rear mounted flamer or jumpjets.

476. You cannot use a rear mounted flamer as jumpjets.

477. You cannot use jumpjets as a rear mounted flamer either.

Edited by Xanilos, 04 March 2014 - 05:05 PM.

[IraqiWalker]

478. The grease in a philly cheese steak does not in fact work as a replacement for engine oil, regardless of how many Citations of coop doing you list. Your chief engineer will be allowed to replace your intestines with tubing to illustrate the argument better.

[MnDragon]

479. If you and one of your lancemates are both piloting Heavy Metals, it is permitted to name one Bill and the other Ted so that you can be the Wyld Stalyons and go on excellent adventures. But only if you both can consistently get kills and blast out the guitar riffs.

480. No the Heavy Metal does not play air guitar after a kill. Stop telling this to the new pilots.

481. When you get a defensive kill in a Heavy Metal, you are not permitted to pick up the Jenner next you to strum an air guitar riff while performing a powerslide on your mech's knees.

[Tustle]

483. You will be facing a court martial if your CO finds out you were the one who painted "The Cake is a Lie" to the west wall of the barracks.

483 b. Even if the cake is, indeed, a lie. The pie is also a fake. Unless both were sent in by Private Poindexter's mother.

483 c. For reasons outlined in 483 b, there will be no sorties taking place in Private Poindexter's hometown. Much less his home planet.

483 d. Unless something is threatening said hometown. Or home planet.

483 e. ...she makes really good cake and pie okay?

483 f. [Insert deity of choice here] bless that woman.

Edited by Tank Man, 05 March 2014 - 08:11 AM.

[Linksdx]

484. do not drop arty or an air strike on a friendly atlas ...yes we all know that it wont do anything more that scratch the pain but still the punishment for this is repainting the Atlas in the paint of the Atlas pilots preference ...paid out of your own pocket and you will be hand painting it you will also repaint it after each battle everyday ......for 10 years
(yes im pretty angry about the amount of time this has happend to my atlas ( well at least they say sorry most of the time))

[StompingOnTanks]

485. You may not volunteer your 'Mech for military-themed nude photoshoots of the Inner Sphere's hottest girls... Without permission.

[MnDragon]

Marack Drock, on 05 March 2014 - 07:44 AM, said:

482. The FRR is always your enemy.

482a. Except when we are not your enemy.

[Nathan Foxbane]

Linksdx, on 05 March 2014 - 10:11 AM, said:

484. do not drop arty or an air strike on a friendly atlas ...yes we all know that it wont do anything more that scratch the pain but still the punishment for this is repainting the Atlas in the paint of the Atlas pilots preference ...paid out of your own pocket and you will be hand painting it you will also repaint it after each battle everyday ......for 10 years
(yes im pretty angry about the amount of time this has happend to my atlas ( well at least they say sorry most of the time))

Spoiler

If I ever catch the pilot that did that to my Cicada when I was about to kill the Battlemaster just so he could have the kill on the other team I am stripping their 'Mech down and leaving them to the mercy of the nearest friendly Locust.

486. Naming your 'Mech after nice things is not forbidden and it is wrong to tell new pilots this.
487. You are not to use coffee from the mess hall to strip paint of your battlemech, even if strong enough.
489. They do not make kilts for Highlanders.
490. An Atlas cannot shrug.
491. LB-X autocannons are for hunting weapons of war, not wild game.
492. Making a necklace for your 'Mech out of empty autocannon casings is not permitted.
493. If the CO hears about the unit's 'Mechs being used for a disco dance off again everyone is getting court martialed.

[Alaskan Nobody]

Nathan Foxbane, on 05 March 2014 - 11:42 AM, said:

486. Naming your 'Mech after nice things is not forbidden and it is wrong to tell new pilots this.

I now have to nickname one of my mechs "Cake"

Nathan Foxbane, on 05 March 2014 - 11:42 AM, said:

490. An Atlas cannot shrug.

That is because they tried it once - and now all Atlas are stuck mid-shrug

[MnDragon]

Nathan Foxbane, on 05 March 2014 - 11:42 AM, said:

491. LB-X autocannons are for hunting weapons of war, not wild game.

494. Strapping 12 Jump Jets on a Spider and yelling "PULL!!!" is not an authorized use of the LB10X

[Linksdx]

MnDragon, on 05 March 2014 - 12:46 PM, said:

494. Strapping 12 Jump Jets on a Spider and yelling "PULL!!!" is not an authorized use of the LB10X

even if its a captured enemy spider who caused havoc all battle?

Nathan Foxbane, on 05 March 2014 - 11:42 AM, said:

If I ever catch the pilot that did that to my Cicada when I was about to kill the Battlemaster just so he could have the kill on the other team I am stripping their 'Mech down and leaving them to the mercy of the nearest friendly Locust.

if you want help with that just ask

Edited by Linksdx, 05 March 2014 - 01:13 PM.

[MnDragon]

Linksdx, on 05 March 2014 - 01:10 PM, said:

even if its a captured enemy spider who caused havoc all battle?

494a. Unless its a captured enemy. Then it is authorized to stuff him in the barrel of said LBX AC Muzzle-load style and use him for ammo at his teammates.

Edited by MnDragon, 05 March 2014 - 05:59 PM.

[Sparks Murphey]

495 (Shepherd's Law): As a MWO thread grows longer, the probability of someone gushing over how fantastic the UrbanMech is approaches 1.

495a: When someone does mention how fantastic the UrbanMech is, that person has immediately lost whatever debate was taking place and the issue should be dropped.

495b: Unless they were arguing UrbanMechs are better than Hilter.

Edited by Sparks Murphey, 05 March 2014 - 10:47 PM.

[Scurry]

496: Yes, machine guns don't do much more than tickle Mech armor. However, it is not advisable to tell rookies that it leaves enemy Mechs helpless with laughter.

497: Following eardrum reconstruction surgery, the Sergeant has rescinded his permission for Banshees to be equipped with megawatt loudspeakers.

498: The next person who expresses a wish to go for a swim in the ol' lava pool on Terra Therma will be deposited in the nearest lava stream head-first.

[B0oN]

500 : Vomiting all over ranking officials is part of due process and protocol in some parts of the I.S. so please do not tell the brass what´s cooking .

Variatio delectat, quineg ?