Posted 13 July 2012 - 04:46 PM
UrbanMech walks into a bar. He slips on this huge pile of doodie on the floor, and falls to the ground. He looks around, hoping no one saw it to make fun of him, but luckily no one did, so UrbanMech goes and takes a stool and orders his beer. Just then, a huge Atlas comes into the bar, and he slips on that same huge pile of doodie, and falls to the floor. The UrbanMech swivels on his stool, looks at the Atlas and says "I just did that!". So the Atlas gets up, walks over, and beats the snot out of the UrbanMech.
This UrbanMech was leaving the bar to get on his dropship for the ride back to Tikonov, when he noted that someone had painted it pink with the words "STUPID URBS" scrawled on it. Totally pissed, he went back into the bar and shouted "Who's the dirty screw that painted my dropship pink?" A big burly Atlas stands up and says "I did. Got a problem with that?" "Nope" replies the UrbanMech, "Just wanted to let you know it's dry and ready for the 2nd coat".
Atlas collides with an UrbanMech. UrbanMech says "I am not happy." Atlas responds "Oh? Which dwarf are you then?"
Atlas asks an Urbanmech if he can borrow a dollar. Urbanmech replies "Sorry, I'm a little short."
I saw an Atlas pickpocketing an Urbanmech the other day. How could one stoop so low?
An UrbanMech and a duck walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig."
The UrbanMech says, "That's not a pig, that's a duck."
Bartender replies, "I was talking to the duck."
UrbanMech walks into a bar. Says to the bar tender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." Bar tender says, "Sorry, don't sell peanuts." The UrbanMech leaves.
Next day, UrbanMech walks into the bar, "I want to buy some peanuts." Bar tender replies, "I already told you I don't sell peanuts!" The UrbanMech leaves.
Next day, the UrbanMech walks into the bar, "I want to buy some peanuts!" Bar tender yells back, "I told you, I don't sell peanuts! If you ask one more time, I'll nail you to the wall!" So the UrbanMech leaves.
Next day, the UrbanMech walks into the bar, "Do you have any nails?" Bar tender says, "Sorry, don't have nails." UrbanMech asks, "Do you have any peanuts?"
Two UrbanMechs are walking their dogs, a black lab and a Chihuahua. Passing a bar, the "lab" walker says, "Let's get a beer." The other: "We can't take our dogs in there." The first: "Watch." In he goes and orders a beer. "Sorry, you can't bring your dog in here." "He's my seeing eye dog." "Oh. Sorry. Here's your beer." The other UrbanMech follows, orders a beer. Same response: No dogs allowed. "He's my seeing eye dog." "Yeah, right. A Chihuahua? Give me a break." "They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!"