Klohsterheim, on 14 August 2012 - 01:08 PM, said:
Well if it's the same Goon Squad that is in EVE online they are sort of a joke. The only reason they do what they do is because the CCP devs don't enforce their own EULA. If this dev team does then nobody will have anything to worry about with the guild called Goon Squad or the "Short Bus Brigade" as I've always called them.
So, Klohsterheim, you've stepped up, now's your time to bat. You probably feel like you've already hit a mighty blow today, with your ever so brave post. You are probably pretty satisfied - you've certainly told those goons a thing or two!
You don't just sit idly by!
Truth is, if you want to deal a devastating blow, then you've not even taken the first step - you haven't even begun the game! Take it from someone who serves complete communication beatdowns easier than you make toast: You've got a long way ahead of you, if you are really serious about what you've started.
It's true that you can always claim "I was only joking/trolling guys!", and back down. You still have that option left to you - although I'm sure the fine moderation team of MWO wouldn't be quite happy with such an admission. If you're serious though, then you had better be ready to devote the gargantuan effort needed to succeed, or you will fall flat on your face.
Alright! Let's begin! You have no idea the kind of luck you've stumbled into, but you will now have the privilege of having a premier criticizer criticizing your post, with helpful tips for future improvement. I've decided to cut out the last nonsensical part about PUGs, because I have no idea what it means in the context of this thread, and I'm dying not to find out.
First - as any good writer will tell you - saying "this thing is funny" is worthless. When you say "[...] they are sort of a joke.", your reader expects to be let in on that joke. Considering the incredible success goons have had in EvE Online - be they in-game successes or the ultimate success of keeping thousands and thousands of players interested and entertained, in spite of the game EvE itself - it is hard to see how the joke can be about incompetence. So, what
is the joke here? Imagine if Lord of the Rings had a passage that read: "Frodo told the other hobbits a funny joke. They laughed a lot, almost spilling their tubers into the glowing embers of the campfire, as they rolled around in laughter." What would your reaction be? Would you be happy for the hobbits in their merriment? Or would you feel slightly left out that - in a book made to entertain you, the reader - they didn't even take the time to include you in enjoying this funny joke? I want to see you rewrite this first sentence, in a way that makes it clear to everyone how you consider goons a joke, and try to focus on getting the reader to laugh at the same things as you.
Second, you have a general problem of tone. You want to appear as though you have a succinct and well thought-out opinion about goons, that allows you to discuss them with some authority, without having to properly lay out your basic argumentation. This is an effect that can be really effective to achieve, but is completely beyond what you can actually manage. For instance, you have no commas in the text quoted above, although commas would make your post both pleasing to read and easier to parse. In other words, you are trying to avoid a lot of the hassle that comes with presenting a full, detailed argument or opinion (such as presenting proof of what you base your reasoning on, and presenting the full logical pathway from those facts to your conclusions), but all it does is call attention to the flaws in both your post and your opinion. It paints you as
less competent, rather than more.
Third, you've got that eternal pubbie problem, that I have dubbed "posturing rather than postulating". You have a very basic and ill-informed opinion about goons, and you are more anxious to express it than correct or confirm it. Imagine a scientist convinced the world is flat, who spends all her energy shouting very loudly that the world is flat, instead of looking at evidence all around her. That is you - and the worst of your pubbie brethren - when it comes to goons. Let me show you in more detail:
Klohsterheim, on 14 August 2012 - 01:08 PM, said:
The only reason they do what they do is because the CCP devs don't enforce their own EULA.
The above statement is objectively wrong in so many ways, that even
I don't have the patience to condescendingly list them out for you. And I do love to be condescending, as I'm sure many will happily attest. What I want to point out though, is that it appears to the reader that you cannot back up any of the positions in that statement. You are merely posturing, not postulating anything meaningful, with the necessary proof and argumentation behind it to convince other people. It makes your post seem like nothing more than a cry for attention - a crude insult flung just to get some kind of reaction. It robs you of all authority in the eyes of the reader.
If you want to make statements like the above, you have to - at the very least! - show some of what you mean. For the reader, the first question that arises is "What, exactly, is it that Klohsterheim thinks goons do?". You say that we do something, but you don't even bother to tell the reader what it is, leaving your statement completely empty and bereft of meaning. This is not enough to convince all but the most naive and foolish. If I say "That Klohsterheim, doing those things in that way!", do you feel I have actually said anything about you? Tell the reader what it is, in your view, we do.
Continuing in that vein, there is no logical pathway between goons doing a thing, and CCP not enforcing their own EULA. You say that "The only reason they do what they do", which strongly suggests complete certainty on your part, but then you completely fail to give the reader a chance to agree with your logic. Why, exactly, is whatever we do something that the devs not enforcing their EULA encourages? I would assume - as would most readers - that we do something because we gain an advantage or enjoyment from it, not because it isn't punished. Not being punished for something isn't a direct motivation for anything - there is always another motivation, and not being punished simply means there isn't the obstacle of being punished. That is obvious to a child, however you've disregarded that relationship completely. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you have in your mind the real motivation - that you simply didn't show the reader - but that is exactly the problem. Show the reader what you are thinking! Tell the reader what exactly you think goons gain from supposedly breaking the EULA, and maybe you can convince them.
For the
fourth, let me finish by saying that if you want to win an audience, using terminology like "Short Bus Brigade" is a very bad idea. Not only is it rather offensive, and is probably ground for reporting you to the moderators, but it also sets a bar for your own behavior - not to mention ability to convince an audience - that you simply cannot reach. You are attempting to look down on posters that could post in circles around you for days, beating you in any genre, any style and any subject matter, simply to drop a rather tame insult. As it often happens with such insults, unless they are delivered with appropriate elegance - such as writing this huge *** post dissecting your many mistakes - they end up being turned against yourself. In other words, I've now set the bar you will have to reach to win the favor of the audience, and judging by your prior work, you've painted yourself into a corner - one that you don't have the skills to escape from.
This concludes this week's lesson in
Why it is a bad idea to go off-topic in a thread that has Third Flower in attendance! I hope that will be the last of it.
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This topic is locked
) youre wrong.
