84 replies to this topic

[Goldhawk]

Hello Darling,

Apparently miracles do occur since MWO will be coming out in the coming months. I must warn you that I will be extremely preoccupied with this game for the coming year.

It's childish you say? Going to name calling? Well, what is it that you do when you go to the mall and try on clothing and shoes that you will never buy? DRESS UP. (Your move)

If you must, I suggest that you have an affair, in fact I insist that you do so. I would suggest Edward down the street. He is well muscled and jogs every day. He contents himself by playing Modern Warfare 3, so he must have quite a bit of idle time. Thus, when he comes over to clean out the pool, I propose that you launch this idea his way. You may use the guest bedroom.

If you must fornicate with Edward, or someone else, please keep your moans of pleasure down, I wish to listen only to the sounds of autocannon booming over a futuristic battlefield as I crush opponents.

The dog? I have an R/C helicopter that is equipped with several strips of bacon that will allow Atlas to get his exercise running up and down the stairs.

My job? My boss has a good relationship with mechwarrior, since he stomps over to my cubicle and has the shape of a Dragon battlemech. And has, and I quote, "If you play that mech simulator on company time again, I will fire you, and strangle you with the mouse!" Clearly some one familiar with Mechwarrior or Battletech would come up with a rant so creative and so vivid.

Oh me? I am fairly sure that I can feed myself since Vinny's Pizzeria knows my home address. Honey, honestly, I order from them before dinner because your turkey is more dry then an overheating Firestarter attacking a Mad Cat.

Now dear, I apologize but I must go, because I need to continue my posting on the MWO website, since there are people who want X-pulse lasers available when the game launches. I know right? People at that time have no idea what X-pulse lasers are!

Love you like a Flashman loves coolant,
Dave

Edited by Goldhawk, 25 April 2012 - 11:00 AM.

[XTRMNTR2K]

This is pure genius. Thank you, good sir!

[Atlas3060]

Quote

Oh me? I am fairly sure that I can feed myself since Vinny's Pizzeria knows my home address. Honey, honestly, I order from them before dinner because your turkey is more dry then an overheating Firestarter attacking a Mad Cat.

Okay I snickered, good work.

[Volturnus]

This is just... win

[Sajuuk]

One of my best friends has been warning his wife in a similar fashion. He is prety sure that hes not moving from his computer for at least the first 3 or 4 months after the game releases.

And im with him, thank god im not married and i have a pretty decent savings.

[Atlas3060]

My wife thankfully takes all her time with the Sims 3 so she won't get upset if I zone out in front of a game for countless hours.

[Striker1980]

This should be a standard letter in the downloads corner of this website, along with 'excuses why you are so tired you cannot get out of bed'.

[OMEGA 1]

HA HA!!!!!! I WIN!!!!! I DON'T HAVE A WIFE!!!!!!............................ DAMN!!!

[SilentWolff]

Why is the letter so long? Mine just said goodbye *****!

[Rhavin]

My girlfriend speculated the other night that she will "loose" me when this game hits open beta. I informed her that we are a perfect fit because she has so many friends to go drink wine and eat cheese with that I loose her weekly.

[Kenyon Burguess]

my wife buys me these types of games to keep me occupied so she doesnt have to deal with me. i guess thats her verion of Dave's letter.

[walkingraven]

I am. Ost fortunate. I have a darling wife who loves to game even more than I. And a Brother-in-law who is also an old battle tech fan.
And a small child who loves both fetching brickabrack and watching things explode.

Still don't know how I'm gonna explain it to the boss...

[Trevnor]

Hahahha, absolute win, I say.

[Swiftfire]

Copy+Paste+Forward to my wife.

Thanks for this.

[William Petersen]

Goldhawk, on 25 April 2012 - 09:06 AM, said:

Love you like coolant loves a Flashman battlemech,

Shouldn't that be "like a Flashman loves coolant"? I mean, why would coolant necessarily feel any affection for the Flashman specifically? The Flashman, however, should particularly like coolant, if only for what the latter can do for the former.

[Grendel408]

I recently quit playing AstroEmpires (Ixion server) to focus on MWO and the other upcoming 'Mech games in the Btech Universe... my GF asked me if I'm gonna be glued to my computer when it's released... I told her, "No, not glued... just firmly planted in my command chair."

Her response? " I guess someone isn't gonna get laid for a while" and I snickered a bit while thinking, yeah *****, you're not getting anything from me cause I'll be too damn busy getting off on stomping around in 'Mechs again!

All in all... I might be single again here soon LOL! Thanks MWO, you'll be simplifying my life again

[Havoc2]

Single right now, but I'm definitely going to need a firm release date so I can start putting in my vacation leave.

[Josh Davion]

I'm getting married shortly before this goes Open Beta...

[PropagandaWar]

Good thing I can multitask and My wife loves watching me beat on others both in real life, and video game life that I want have to rely on sparkly dudes named "Edward" to keep her occupied. Otherwise I'd be stealing this letter in a heartbeat.

[Havoc2]

Josh Davion, on 25 April 2012 - 10:56 AM, said:

I'm getting married shortly before this goes Open Beta...

Sucker.

See you in MWO2