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A Letter to my wife (REAL LIFE)


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#41 Naduk

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 06:57 PM

For about 6 years now my missus and I have had each others back in every warzone we land in
from mech warrior 4 to battlefield 3, she has been at my side

There is no better wingman than a woman who loves you
(even if she does close her eyes and squeal when shooting)

I may however have a hard time getting her off Diablo3

[Me]
[Her]

#42 Godly1

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 07:00 PM

LMAO! This is an EPIC WIN in my opinion! Hilarious. Glad I dont have to worry about such things as Im freshly single again. Now if only I can find someone to clean house......

#43 Omega59er

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 07:53 PM

Sounds like a good letter, but you may need a separate one for your boss.

#44 Hayashi

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 08:16 PM

How do you guys even find gamers to marry? :angry:

Teach me thy techniques... :angry:

Please. :rolleyes:

#45 Naduk

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 10:47 PM

@Hayashi

My wife was not a gamer when we met.
However it was not hard to get her into it.

Now instead of being forced to sit through endless episodes of droll television programs (quality time, you all know what im talkin about)
We log on to our latest game and smash our opponents together, but the biggest win is it counts as quality time cause we are doing things together.

It started with me and my friend talking about game X and how it had the most amazing story.
We discussed said story's twists and turns with genuine excitement, she asked "how can a video game have a story line ?"
"ill show you" I responded.

I sat her down and got her to play titan quest (i think she was hooked by the end of the opening cinematic)
She played it, finished it, loved it.
Then I blew her mind, I got a second copy, installed it on her laptop and we played together, story and all.

I slowly selected other games for us/ her to play, making sure to include something we could play together for each game she would play by herself, testing the waters of genre each time, stuff she wasn't keen on i swapped out for something new until i found something she liked (its a lot like recommending a film)

Never force anything, encouragement is key.
You need to help her grow into a player, the only way to do that is to support her.
Always let her do the playing and problem solving, if she is stuck get her to talk about her options.
Do not tell her how to play, if you must show her a move NEVER take the controls from her.
If you beat the big boss for her, she has not learned anything and you are training a Muppet not a player,
show her the hand motions or talk about tactics, discuss why she is making the choices she is making,
always encourage, never ever ever put her down, she will be doing that enough on her own trust me.
(my wife got stuck on the last room in quake4 i need to teach her why strafing was important and when to do it, she was ready to give up on the game, but she learn't passed the room the absolutely smashed the boss and won the game, she was so proud of her self)

Good first games would be things like.
Diablo3, Titan Quest, Mass Effect, Half~Life, Fear, Assassins Creed, Dragon Age: Origins, Portal
For her first engagement, try to choose something with a heavy story, you want her to be swept up in the experience as a whole, combat should be meaningful and necessary.

Good second line games are sequels to anything she liked (even if you know its trash, dragon age for example)
Branch related games, IE if she liked titan quest, get her to try out Fallout Tactics, if she liked that get her to try out Fallout 3(or better).
Following those kinds of paths you have given a Isometric RPG player the taste for FPS games.
These paths are relatively easy to make, Diablo-> Fallout Tactics-> C&C generals-> Starcraft-> Homeworld-> Freespace2 (rpg to space sim)
Its very important to factor in what she is enjoying when building these links, if she did not like a game use that info to cross games off the list that are to close to it.
early on you want to expose her to the variety of games FPS,RPG,RTS ect you will need her reactions to those genres to plan for later.

Over time you will no longer need to do this, she will tell you what she likes and doesn't like, she will even begin to seek out her own games and want to share them with you.

Avoid games like viva pinata, save those for later, while they are cute and fun they don't exactly build a desire for more and most the games we play involve heavy amounts of combat so you will want her to feel comfortable with combat sequences/ game play and showing her games with out combat as her intro will make her resist the games with combat later on, seeing it as a male thing.
(you play those, i play these, this situation must be avoided)

MMO's, J-RPG's, the sims and rhythm games should be avoided like the plague.
If you ever want her to play anything more substantial ... ever, you must avoid these at all costs.
If she expresses desire to play them, you can derail by saying there are other things you want her to have a go at first and you can play them another time.
(that should naturally never arise because you keep her mind fed with better stuff)
If however she remains persistent, expose her to them only after she has played something that has similar mechanics that are better, even if its only superficial (for example she will be less interested in a boring tower defense game after playing assassins creed revelations and seeing how a tower def game can be worked into a larger game with a epic story)
If you have done this right you wont need to convince her how bad they are, she will tell you her self.
(if you get desperate, and i mean DESPERATE, tell her said horrible game is to old and will not work on any of your devices, i however do not condone lying and cannot guarantee its success)

Next up is hardware.
Do not set her up on bad, out dated lame hardware, nobody likes lag or jittery graphics and it will not do you any good if she is struggling to play the game when you are trying to get her to like it. She will hate the experience and be unable to tell you why, making everyone frustrated. Remember she wont know what lag is but she will still feel its effects.
Get her a pc equal to yours or better
DO buy a new pc, DO NOT give her your old one !
The temptation here is great it will admit to use her new interest to upgrade your own gear but do not act of this feeling. You might get away with a plastic diamond ring instead of a real one, but if she found out it would doom you.
Gaming is much the same, if your blazing away on BF3 in ultra high at 200FPS and she is playing on low barely scraping in 25 fps, she will see it, feel it and over all really not enjoy the game eventually learning how much you have belittled and used her.

If you really want her to feel good about gaming you need to be the one who makes those kind of sacrifices
if your budget cannot hack it, be a man stand tall and take it, in the long run it will you will come out on top.
She will enjoy everything about it more and before long she will truly understand the sacrifice you have been making and will work with you to solve financial issues because she will want her man to be by her side in her games. At this point, you have a fully fledged gamer girlfriend and should wife her immediately. :rolleyes:

You must accept a major fact if you wish this proceed.
Having a gamer girlfriend is VERY VERY expensive.
Consider everything you have ever purchased over your gaming career, now double it
you need 2x copy's of each game, 2x the hardware, 2x the power, more everything

It took a long time but it was well worth it

#46 Carebear

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 12:42 AM

View PostHayashi, on 25 April 2012 - 08:16 PM, said:

How do you guys even find gamers to marry? :angry:

Teach me thy techniques... :angry:

Please. :rolleyes:


MMORPGs, especially those desperates in FB, of course cons. In short, go look for some wow chicks on FB. Also I'd imagine Bioware's facebook is good one too, chicks like that kind of games.

I never understood why gamers are so obsessed of having gamer GF.

Edited by Carebear, 26 April 2012 - 01:00 AM.


#47 pursang

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 01:47 AM

View PostCarebear, on 26 April 2012 - 12:42 AM, said:


MMORPGs, especially those desperates in FB, of course cons. In short, go look for some wow chicks on FB. Also I'd imagine Bioware's facebook is good one too, chicks like that kind of games.

I never understood why gamers are so obsessed of having gamer GF.


Is it really that hard for you to understand that some people want to fall in love with someone they can relate to? That's a bit of an odd statement to make, really. :rolleyes:

Edited by pursang, 26 April 2012 - 01:48 AM.


#48 Carebear

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 02:11 AM

View Postpursang, on 26 April 2012 - 01:47 AM, said:


Is it really that hard for you to understand that some people want to fall in love with someone they can relate to? That's a bit of an odd statement to make, really. :rolleyes:


Games cant be that important. Maybe it just me, after all games for me are only a hobby, my real interest in life are elsewhere.

But anyway its just something what keeps coming up year after year, I think devs should do something to it, if they already arent arranging somekind of facebook-cons etc, gamers meet gamers.

Edited by Carebear, 26 April 2012 - 02:13 AM.


#49 pursang

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 02:23 AM

View PostCarebear, on 26 April 2012 - 02:11 AM, said:


Games cant be that important. Maybe it just me, after all games for me are only a hobby, my real interest in life are elsewhere.

But anyway its just something what keeps coming up year after year, I think devs should do something to it, if they already arent arranging somekind of facebook-cons etc, gamers meet gamers.


It's just you. Your views are your own just as mine are my own, please keep that in mind. There are many, many people who not only have a hobby of gaming, but have fully-fledged careers in gaming. You have people doing things like professional journalism, to reviewing, to game development itself. Gaming - and games in general - are a huge deal for a lot of people in this world, this is something that cannot be denied. It is also no less important then any other entertainment field, much like movies or music. Gaming has also enjoyed a meteoric rise in popularity since the dawn of the personal computer.

Would you fault a person - any person - who has a hobby and would like to find and spend their lives with somebody else in the world with that same hobby? On second thought, don't bother replying; we've derailed this thread long enough.

Edited by pursang, 26 April 2012 - 02:25 AM.


#50 Carebear

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 02:42 AM

View Postpursang, on 26 April 2012 - 02:23 AM, said:


It's just you. Your views are your own just as mine are my own, please keep that in mind. There are many, many people who not only have a hobby of gaming, but have fully-fledged careers in gaming. You have people doing things like professional journalism, to reviewing, to game development itself. Gaming - and games in general - are a huge deal for a lot of people in this world, this is something that cannot be denied. It is also no less important then any other entertainment field, much like movies or music. Gaming has also enjoyed a meteoric rise in popularity since the dawn of the personal computer.

Would you fault a person - any person - who has a hobby and would like to find and spend their lives with somebody else in the world with that same hobby? On second thought, don't bother replying; we've derailed this thread long enough.


Mr, Pro I take it.

I just pointed my opinion nothing else.

Edited by Carebear, 26 April 2012 - 02:42 AM.


#51 LordDeathStrike

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 02:54 AM

View PostJosh Davion, on 25 April 2012 - 10:56 AM, said:

I'm getting married shortly before this goes Open Beta...

just go ahead and cancle it, divorces are very expensive. if she really loves you she will feed and clean you and not marry you while you play mwo :ph34r:

View PostHayashi, on 25 April 2012 - 08:16 PM, said:

How do you guys even find gamers to marry? :blink:

Teach me thy techniques... :ph34r:

Please. :D

marriage is a scam :ph34r:

#52 Carebear

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 03:08 AM

Dont get my wrong, I think its only good if games had that power of connect like music, but I cant honestly see it. Or go figure.

Guys just want to **** lil gamer girls. :D

Edited by Carebear, 26 April 2012 - 03:12 AM.


#53 Hayashi

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 03:48 AM

View PostNaduk, on 25 April 2012 - 10:47 PM, said:

It took a long post but it was well worth it

Never actually knew it was possible get someone stuck in gaming this late in life. I find it quite interesting how you stated Diablo III as an option even though it's not released yet, seems you have about as much faith in it as I do.

Have Dragon Age and all though.

Now, just need to find someone first, can't turn a nonexistent nonentity into a gamer now can we? :blink:

View PostCarebear, on 26 April 2012 - 03:08 AM, said:

Dont get my wrong, I think its only good if games had that power of connect like music, but I cant honestly see it. Or go figure.

Guys just want to **** lil gamer girls. :ph34r:

It's all about spending quality time together (though my mom will never agree with gaming being quality - I'm not that young, but you know how moms are). If we're only dealing with [REDACTED] then it wouldn't matter if they game or not now would it... I've yet to find people who [REDACTED] WHILE gaming, lol. :D

#54 Carebear

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 04:26 AM

View PostHayashi, on 26 April 2012 - 03:48 AM, said:

It's all about spending quality time together (though my mom wi never agree with gaming being quality - I'm not that young, but you know how moms are). If we're only dealing with [REDACTED] then it wouldn't matter if they game or not now would it... I've yet to find people who [REDACTED] WHILE gaming, lol. :D


I see, I still think girl gamers are somekind of myth even today.

#55 Naduk

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 04:31 AM

single ones are the myth carebear
converts are lot easier

Hayashi D3 is going to be so awesome, played the closed beta and open beta
every update they put out only makes it feel more and more like a old diablo game
even with the newer spin on things, im not entirely sure why girls like that kind of game so much
i suspect it satisfies their barbie urges (dressing up your character) and loot is addictive no matter what your gender

Edited by Naduk, 26 April 2012 - 04:37 AM.


#56 Hayashi

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 04:45 AM

View PostCarebear, on 26 April 2012 - 04:26 AM, said:

I see, I still think girl gamers are somekind of myth even today.

I've quite a few gamer friends, but unfortunately they're either in the US or UK, not in my country.

It's like the gamer girls crowd and the local girls crowd just don't quite seem to intersect.

So I do find some of them, but not IRL.

And of course, this:

View PostNaduk, on 26 April 2012 - 04:31 AM, said:


single ones are the myth carebear

View PostNaduk, on 26 April 2012 - 04:31 AM, said:

Hayashi D3 is going to be so awesome, played the closed beta and open beta
every update they put out only makes it feel more and more like a old diablo game
even with the newer spin on things, im not entirely sure why girls like that kind of game so much
i suspect it satisfies their barbie urges (dressing up your character) and loot is addictive no matter what your gender

I didn't have a beta key, but I played the open beta and liked it enough to go for Overachiever on it. Seems to be quite a few people complaining about its difficulty level, though it's early in the game, so that's to be expected really.

Overall I kind of prefer the old attribute allocation system, I feel auto allocation kind of dumbs down the process too much. But the idea of having skill builds that you can switch around without having to reallocate all skills is a pretty good one.

Blizzard is pretty darn good at balancing, for one. The classes seem to be quite equally matched in terms of raw firepower, but they all play very differently.

#57 Mason Grimm

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 04:49 AM

View PostCarebear, on 26 April 2012 - 12:42 AM, said:

I never understood why gamers are so obsessed of having gamer GF.


This shows a distinct lack of understanding towards the male mind.

5 Thoughts on Girl Gamers By Men Everywhere

1) ZOMG she plays video games?
2) It will give us something to do "before" and "after" know what I mean?
3) She won't complain about the time I spend playing games cause she plays too
4) She might even join my game which means another lance mate, miner, helper, healer, whatever to boost my skills
5) My friends will annoint me as a demi-god for scoring a girl like that

I do agree though that converts are easier. In the last 3.5 years of being "single" again I've only met one cute xbox360 weilding, intelligent (read nerdy) Con goer with mad game skills and while that was fun fun fun the long term prospects were... less than stellar.

#58 Hayashi

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 04:56 AM

View PostMason Grimm, on 26 April 2012 - 04:49 AM, said:

2) It will give us something to do "before" and "after" know what I mean?
3) She won't complain about the time I spend playing games cause she plays too

:D

#59 EDMW CSN

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 05:00 AM

Thankfully girls i know are distracted by Diablo 3 :D

#60 Trevnor

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 05:03 AM

Hrm, funny letter to wife about MW:O playtime, devolved into talking about finding a women to share gaming with.... I guess it's not really all that far off base. I do know about the sort of feeling that Hayashi has though. I have yet to meet any girl where I live that shares even remote interests, at least one that is already single...





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