3435 replies to this topic

[Nightmare1]

Son of the Flood, on 10 September 2015 - 12:14 PM, said:

Sizzles is the lead developer of Donald Trump's campaign slogans.

In fact, his "Let's make America great again" slogan is helping The Don poll quite well in New Hampshire and South Carolina.

His original version of this quote was a little longer, but did not fair so well in the focus groups

"Let's make America great again...no more fat chicks".

Sizzles spends much of his day speaking with human resources managers.

Son of the Flood once tried to imitate Sizzles, but all Trump had to say was, "You're Fired!"

To date, Son is still searching for a job. You have no idea how hard it is to find a job in this economy when all you have on your resume is "Toupee Wrangler."

[Sizzles]

Nightmare was sent out to the local market by his CO to gather healing potions for their 'Mechs.

After spending most of the day searching, he returned to report on the market lacking any such things, only to find that his company had moved camp.

[BerserX]

Sizzles is responsible for Nightmare's camp being moved while Nightmare was out searching for "mech healing potions". First off, he wrote an online article titled "The Merits of Healing Potions for Battlemechs", and directly referenced the marketplace nearby to Nightmare's camp. He then set up a couple hundred phony Facebooks and "Liked" the article ('cause "Liked" articles gotta' be legit, right?). He then hacked the camp's server and sent a memo about the healing potions to the camp commander, and suggested that they send their most talented mechwarrior to retrieve some from the nearby marketplace (fortunately, Nightmare was the camp's ONLY mechwarrior). Whilst Nightmare was searching all around the marketplace and nearby neighborhoods for the fabled healing potions, Sizzles spoofed the camp's radar with a phony missile attack. The camp populace fled in terror (having used up all their AMS ammunition earlier that day shooting *****). When Nightmare returned, the camp was empty.

To this day, Nightmare believes his comrades played a practical joke on him and left him stranded. The reality is much, much more complex.

[Nightmare1]

BerserX believes that story wholeheartedly, not realizing that Nightmare was aware of the deception all along. He thought that the base had become rather noisy as of late and, knowing how impressionable BerserX was as a camp commander, decided to use subliminal messaging to get Sizzles to initiate such a silly plan.

When BerserX and the rest of the camp fled from the fake air raid, he left behind his prized collection of Breyers ice-cream. Nightmare has been slowly working his way through them while watching kung-fu movies on the base's Netflix account, content in the now deserted and peaceful camp.

[Sizzles]

Nightmare may not realize this. But none of the above events even happened.

There are no 'Mechs.

There was no market.

There were no potions.

And there was no camp.

AND THERE IS NO SIZZLES

[Nightmare1]

In that case, Sizzles does not own an electric smoker since he does not exist.

[StompingOnTanks]

Nightmare1 doesn't exist either, he is simply a figment of our collective imaginations.

[Sizzles]

Stomping knows who the G-man is.

But he wont share.

[Nightmare1]

Sizzles has a dream, that one day, all barbecue grills may sound like him.

[Sparks Murphey]

Sizzles, on 12 September 2015 - 02:41 PM, said:

AND THERE IS NO SIZZLES

ONLY ZUUL

Due to a miscommunication, Nightmare1 received one vote in the recent challenge for leadership of Australia's Liberal Party. With just 49 more, he could have become the new Prime Minister of Australia.

[MarineTech]

On Rottnest Island, the quokkas worship Sparks Murphey as "He who brings the tasty green leaves close so we may eat them."

[BerserX]

Um... I'm not sure why MWO decided to bleep me out... I didn't use any profanity (unless my choice word has a hidden meaning in today's various social circles). My apologies for the apparent vulgarity and any concern it might have caused (yeah... right... concerned...). Anyone who owns a shotgun likely knows the sport to which I was referring.
______________________________________________________________________



MarineTech was very concerned that I was using profanity. In fact, he was... disturbed...

<--- MarineTech

Edited by BerserX, 15 September 2015 - 08:28 PM.

[XphR]

BerserX was blissfully unaware of the effect modern rap lyrics have had on certain sports terms.

[Smitti]

XphR is the minion of a bowl of mouldy tapioca that achieved sentience.

Edited by Smitti, 15 September 2015 - 11:06 PM.

[Nightmare1]

Smitti just ate that bowl of tapioca, prompting the UN to sanction him for sentient tapioca genocide.

He's due in court next week if he doesn't croak from food poisoning first.

[Sizzles]

Nobody can match the atrocities of Nightmare.

Every bathroom he visits . . . he turns the toilet paper . . . to unroll towards . . . THE WALL . . .

Even Satan wont call him out on this.

[Nightmare1]

Sizzles, on 17 September 2015 - 03:29 PM, said:

Nobody can match the atrocities of Nightmare.

Every bathroom he visits . . . he turns the toilet paper . . . to unroll towards . . . THE WALL . . .

Even Satan wont call him out on this.

That's not as bad as what Sizzles does though!

He empties all the soap dispensers and jams those annoying little paper towel dispensers so that you can never quite get enough paper out of them to dry your hands.

[MarineTech]

Due to a lack of paper towels, Nightmare1 was detained by authorities for committing a lewd act with a restroom blow hand dryer after spilling his drink in his lap.

[Nightmare1]

MarineTech, on 17 September 2015 - 04:20 PM, said:

Due to a lack of paper towels, Nightmare1 was detained by authorities for committing a lewd act with a restroom blow hand dryer after spilling his drink in his lap.

Wow, that got weird!

MarineTech once took a bath with his toaster oven. He thought he could eat jelly toast while reading his favorite manga and listening to "The Witch Doctor" by David Seville and The Chipmunks.

That didn't end well.

Edited by Nightmare1, 17 September 2015 - 04:27 PM.

[Sizzles]

MarineTech, on 17 September 2015 - 04:20 PM, said:

Due to a lack of paper towels, Nightmare1 was detained by authorities for committing a lewd act with a restroom blow hand dryer after spilling his drink in his lap.

Cannot un-see.

Nightmare stole Devlin Stone's toaster, which he then sold to Marine.