3435 replies to this topic

[StompingOnTanks]

When Sparks Murphey was a child, he received a 1:1 scale Atlas model kit for Christmas. The kit required two dozen semi trucks and a Skycrane helicopter to deliver, but boy, was Sparks the happiest child alive that day. For weeks he and his father worked in their garage, following the instruction booklet and assembling the pieces.

Then, the glorious day came. Sparks Murphey climbed into the cockpit, donned his NeuroHelmet, and grabbed the controls. The time for glorious Mech combat had come. The Atlas rose at his command, and began a rampage through all of Australia, searching for a worthy opponent.

But he didn't find any, because BattleMechs hadn't been invented yet, and he soon grew bored of mowing down tanks, jets and helicopters with no effort. He came to a stop at a nearby McDonalds for a shake, and climbed out of the cockpit, after which the Australian military immediately confiscated the machine.

It now operates under the codename "STEINER" and is used as a "fast reconnaissance vehicle" for the military. Attemps to copy the technology for mass production have so far been unsuccessful, as our current metalurgy, materials fabricating, and computer technology isn't up to the task.

Nobody knows where to order more kits either.

[James Montana]

I saw StompingOnTanks write a novel once (see above)

[StompingOnTanks]

James Montana hasn't seen my other posts in this thread!

[Sizzles]

Stomping was a Jumpship pilot for a day.

After sending him his cargo and destination, the nearby station received a puzzling message.

"Instructions unclear, ship stuck on planet."

[Sparks Murphey]

Sizzles was responsible for the collapse of three banks. After the third, the police took his explosives license away.

[MarineTech]

Sparks Murphey once at a Witchetty Grub on a dare.

He felt bad afterwards though and delivered a load of lumber to the grubs family to atone for his act.

[Nightmare1]

I could tell y'all a fact about MarineTech.

...But then I'd have to kill all of you.

[MarineTech]

I could tell y'all a fact about Nightmare.

.... But then I'd have to figure how to stop you laughing before you peed yourselves.

[XphR]

MarineTech actually knows how to stop all of us from peeing on ourselves but, is retaining his Nightmare1 fact pending another less physical form of restraint.

[Sparks Murphey]

XphR is most famous for his solo riff in the MWO videos. Despite sounding like an electric guitar, he actually plays it on an electric trombone.

Edited by Sparks Murphey, 16 October 2015 - 07:31 PM.

[Sizzles]

Sparks does not understand how this works.

[XphR]

After pointing out his discrepancy, Sizzles had Sparks replaced with alternate timeline Sparks.

[StompingOnTanks]

XphR obviously isn't from our plane of existence and needs to go back to his old one, his family misses him.

[Nightmare1]

Sadly, XphR can't do that because StompingOnTanks crashed his plane.

[Sizzles]

Nightmare tried to offer XphR a paper airplane as a replacement.

Alas, it cant even fly straight. It merely does a loop before smashing into the ground.

[Sparks Murphey]

There are several alternative timelines in which Sizzles is Nightmare's father. In all such timelines, Sizzles has cut off Nightmare's hand and invited him to join the dark side. In one of those timelines, that even made sense in context.

[StompingOnTanks]

Sparks Muprhey is aware of this timeline and has written it into one of the greatest science fiction franchises to ever have graced the planet, and/or this particular parallel universe we reside in.

[MarineTech]

StompingOnTanks is not a member of that timeline.

He belongs to a timeline where Earth was invaded by intelligent rutabagas in 1982. His nickname comes from his time in the resistance when he attacked the hydroponic vats that the invaders gestated their reinforcements in.

[Nightmare1]

MarineTech is not actually a MechWarrior. In reality, he works in a sewing factor where he hand stitches the laces onto baseballs and footballs. He forged an online MechWarrior Pilot Profile in an attempt to evolve his station in life, but to no avail.

[MarineTech]

Nightmare is not actually a Mechwarrior either. He's an Octopod Husbandry Technical Assistant. (Hence the term Master at Arms.) He created his Mechwarrior profile to escape the horror that is his daily existence. It's not working.

Edited by MarineTech, 19 October 2015 - 10:28 AM.