915 replies to this topic

[Sizzles]

1238: To show the size of an object. It must be placed next to a Water Melon for scale.

Edited by Sizzles, 11 September 2015 - 10:33 AM.

[wanderer]

Sizzles, on 11 September 2015 - 10:32 AM, said:

1238: To show the size of an object. It must be placed next to a Water Melon for scale.

[Big Tin Man]

1239. Despite the legend, the black knight does not always triumph. Further, Black Knights need functional legs to be combat effective, and they do not have teeth to "bite their legs off"

[Rogue Jedi]

1240. if you play a tabletop game, using a book of maps to crush the enemies miniatures is frowned upon, even if you explicitly warned your opponent that you will crush his/her forces with your atlas.
edit: and the opponent said something along the lines of "I would like to see that", "bring it on" or "try it"

Edited by Rogue Jedi, 02 October 2015 - 12:51 AM.

[Tustle]

1241: Never. We repeat: Never ask Corporal Tinn Kann [The 'Tank Man'] for advice in love. All he ever says is "Give that b*tch a cannon! B*tches love cannons!" That's only true about forty percent of the time, and ninety eight percent of that forty percent of the time, those ladies are also psychopaths, sociopaths, and all the other paths in between.

[Rogue Jedi]

Tank Man, on 13 October 2015 - 08:34 PM, said:

1241: Never. We repeat: Never ask Corporal Tinn Kann [The 'Tank Man'] for advice in love. All he ever says is "Give that b*tch a cannon! B*tches love cannons!" That's only true about forty percent of the time, and ninety eight percent of that forty percent of the time, those ladies are also psychopaths, sociopaths, and all the other paths in between.

so 0.08% of the time he tells you to shoot a none psychopathic female and 60% of the time he does not answer or answers diferantly?

[Tustle]

Rogue Jedi, on 13 October 2015 - 11:44 PM, said:

so 0.08% of the time he tells you to shoot a none psychopathic female and 60% of the time he does not answer or answers diferantly?

No no; what's only true about 40% of the time is the ladies loving cannons. The 60% is all the other ladies. All the Corporal ever says himself is "B*tches love cannons!" That being said, we fails to mention what percentage of ladies like *Auto*cannons. e.e

Edited by Tank Man, 15 October 2015 - 06:00 PM.

[StompingOnTanks]

1242. We have confirmed that of the 40% of ladies that love cannons, only 2% love autocannons. The other 38% love old-fashioned, single-shot cannons that only fire one round at a time from a magazine, such as those found on ancient Terran tanks from the 21st century period.

We must stress, however, that replacing your BattleMech's autocannons with ancient, single-shot Terran models is not advisable to your survivability, even if it means you are 38% more likely to get laid. These antiquated models can only fire ancient APFSDS, AP, HE, and HEAT rounds which have extremely low power compared to what is available for a modern Autocannon of similar caliber.

However, if you can find such ancient weapons in functioning condition, AND ammunition for them, Commander Stomping reports that they are extremely fun to shoot clays with.

[SnagaDance]

1243. With 'clays' we do not mean the Regiment's Leopard class DropShips people!!

[Tustle]

StompingOnTanks, on 17 October 2015 - 07:39 PM, said:

However, if you can find such ancient weapons in functioning condition, AND ammunition for them, Commander Stomping reports that they are extremely fun to shoot clays with.

SnagaDance, on 19 October 2015 - 12:22 AM, said:

1243. With 'clays' we do not mean the Regiment's Leopard class DropShips people!!

[Sparks Murphey]

1244: Despite expectations, if you buy a Warhammer with M.C., you can touch it.

Edited by Sparks Murphey, 21 October 2015 - 02:56 AM.

[StompingOnTanks]

Sparks Murphey, on 21 October 2015 - 01:32 AM, said:

1244: Despite expectations, if you buy a Warhammer with M.C., you can touch it.

1244a. Just make sure you be a gentleman to it, and buy it dinner first.

[IraqiWalker]

1245: Should you fall asleep on a surface other than your bed, all international conventions, bro codes, and "rules", become ineffective. Be safe, sleep in your own bed.

[kosmos1214]

IraqiWalker, on 22 October 2015 - 05:18 AM, said:

1245: Should you fall asleep on a surface other than your bed, all international conventions, bro codes, and "rules", become ineffective. Be safe, sleep in your own bed.

i take offense some of us "damn dirty mercs" dont have a choice

[Rogue Jedi]

1246. After the discovery that the DCMS are developing a Sword for Battlemechs, rumors that Kurita are modifying an Archer to use a Bow and arrows have emerged, there seems to be no truth to these rumors, however how cool (and impractical) would that be if true?

[SnagaDance]

1247: DCMS public service announcement. The DCMS is not converting any mechs to wield mech sized bows. If we did (which we don't), we would not use a generic Archer, but use a superior Kuritan Daikyu (which we aren't). We also do not release public service announcements on mech variants we are developing, even when we're not developing them.

[Rogue Jedi]

1248. we cannot allow non combat tips to go onto page 2 of Jettisoned.

1249. "I forgot my keys" is not a good excuse for being late into battle, mostly because Mechs do not use keys

[Virlutris]

Rogue Jedi, on 30 September 2015 - 01:09 AM, said:

1240. if you play a tabletop game, using a book of maps to crush the enemies miniatures is frowned upon, even if you explicitly warned your opponent that you will crush his/her forces with your atlas.
edit: and the opponent said something along the lines of "I would like to see that", "bring it on" or "try it"

Is it bad that when I read this, I imagined a kill notification reading "Map Design has killed Opposing Forces," on my HUD?

1250: Do not leave go through the Arby's drive through in your Enforcer. This just holds everyone up, even if it makes for a great story for the kid behind you in line.

1251: Do not leave a mulch layer of discarded wrappers, cups, and leftovers from Arby's in the cockpit of your Enforcer. Medical and technical staff reminds you to please practice good hygeine.

1252: Do not tell anyone "that's what we have techs for" when they tell you that your cockpit is a mess and needs to be cleaned. At the very least, have the common sense not to do so when you could reasonably expect your tech team to hear you.

[Sparks Murphey]

1253: BattleMechs are not to be used to take tourists on parachuting excursions.
1253a: No, not even the BattleMechs with jump jets.
1253b: No, not even the Spider.
1253c: No, not even if the "tourist" is a Cessna 172.

[Big Tin Man]

1253c(i): Don't use your mech to "launch assist" a Cessna 172 or any other light aircraft either. They are not designed to be thrown, and the hand actuators will crush the fuselage.