3435 replies to this topic

[Nightmare1]

Virlutris, on 28 November 2015 - 05:37 PM, said:

NIghtmare1 is really a mental hygenist. He's excited about Stomping's post because it means an up-tick in business.

Virlutris is my under-study. I make him clean the dirtiest parts of the brain.

[Tiamat of the Sea]

Nightmare1 has no dreams.

[Virlutris]

Quickdraw Crobat keeps a titanium crowbar with him at all times, in the event he should need it for the zombie apocalypse. He figures that since there's never one around when you need one, he may as well make sure he's covered.

Edited by Virlutris, 28 November 2015 - 07:51 PM.

[Nightmare1]

Virlutris stole Crobat's crowbar and sold it for scrap metal. He replaced it with one made of tinfoil, and Crobat hasn't noticed the difference yet.

[Sizzles]

Nightmare found the instructions to create what was referred to as a "Tactical Lasagna."

So, having nothing better to do, he made one.

He then served this dish to everyone on board the dropship.

But they all immediately died of Coronary Heart Disease.

Turns out he had somehow packed the makings for a 'Strategic Lasagna' into the much smaller form of a Tactical.

When analyzed by a forensics team, the Lasagna was found to be packing roughly 20,000 calories per squared centimeter.

And the book the recipe had be learned from was titled "Weaponized Food."


Edit: Gammarz.

Edited by Sizzles, 30 November 2015 - 10:40 AM.

[Nightmare1]

Upon witnessing the stark terror inflicted on all who beheld my Strategic Lasagna, House Davion immediately commissioned Sizzles to cook one for use in their war against the Clans. Unfortunately, Hanse made the mistake of assuming that because Sizzles' name is Sizzles, he actually knew how to cook. Instead, Sizzles' lasagna came out looking like a brick of charcoal and was prodigiously heavy.

In the end, Hanse decided to use it as a door stop for his throne room and sentenced Sizzles to remedial cooking school.

[MarineTech]

Nightmare is an extremely gassy fellow. He produces the same amount of methane and mercaptins as 7 cows.

Do NOT, light a match around this guy. It'll end badly.

[XphR]

Before reading this MarineTech had no previous knowledge of DHMIS, after reading this and a brief web search he wonders not only why he was compelled to watched the whole series.. but how could I have been so cruel to have inflicted it upon him. Creativity will then plague him for the rest of his life.

[Sparks Murphey]

XphR's latest Hunchback build employs 4 TAG pulse lasers alongside his prototype "Insatiable Curiosity Projector". The ICP channels the innate curiosity of a tank full of cats onto targets, while he then uses the flashy red dots to lure his victims to their doom. Animal welfare groups have staged several protests about the ethics of depriving cats of their curiosity, but all such protests have ended when their participants accidentally strayed into oncoming traffic, over cliffs, and in one particularly gruesome incident, into a blender factory. XphR also points out that making cats incurious is the only safe way to store a tank of them onboard a 'Mech, which is otherwise full of interesting cables.

[Virlutris]

Sparks is well aware of the importance of storing cats safely aboard mechs. He brings his kitty, Mister Murphey, along on most missions. There's even a "Mad Cat" shaped cat tree behind the command couch of his mech, for Mister Murphey to get exercise during downtime.

Sparks has to keep a close eye on Mister Murphey, though ...

Edited by Virlutris, 03 December 2015 - 01:23 PM.

[Nightmare1]

Virlutris likes to add Tabasco to his applesauce when he eats it. He firmly believes that the combination has miraculous recuperative powers and consumes it religiously whenever he is sick or injured.

[Sparks Murphey]

Nightmare1 has an impressive chain of paperclips that he uses to tackle enemy 'Mechs. When asked where he got paperclips strong enough to stop a 'Mech, he only says, "Acme."

[Nightmare1]

Sparks is not above a bit of shameless promotion for the local Acme Store that he owns and manages. I buy all my paperclips from him, but one day hope to be able to afford one of the big spools of rope he keeps in the backroom. Ever since the Ewok incident, Sparks has raised the prices for them and keeps them under tight lock and key.

[Sparks Murphey]

Nightmare1 stole this basketball.
http://i.imgur.com/3irsImz.gifv

[Cactus In The Rear]

Sparks Murphey has inspired countless knockoff electrically powered supervillans.

Edited by Xanilos, 10 December 2015 - 06:30 AM.

[Sizzles]

Xanilos recently supplanted his superior.

He sent the severed head of said supplanted superior to Theodore Kurita as a birthday present.

Apparently it was well received.

[Nightmare1]

There is more to the story than Sizzles has told. In fact, it was Sizzles himself that severed the head of Xanilos' leader! How and why did he do this, you ask? It's simple, really. Xanilos was confused as to what the word "supplanted" meant, so he planted his leader in the ground. The hole wasn't deep enough though, so his head stuck out. Sizzles mows Xanilos' lawn every Saturday morning as his summer job to pay his way through middle school (bullies keep taking his lunch money so he needs to augment it somehow!). A distracted and careless mower, Sizzles has a tendency to mow things that were never meant to be mowed. Sadly, this included Xanilos' leader. The mower lopped the head off and punted it out the discharge chute on the side where it flew through the air before swishing through the basketball hoop which hung over the garage door of the house opposite Xanilos' on the street. Xanilos had just pulled up to his house in his Prius, so he quickly hopped out, ran across the street, and recovered the head before the neighbors noticed anything amiss. Unsure of what to do with the head, he decided to send it to Theodore.

To this day, Theodore still uses the head as a door stop in his palace, while Xanilos' neighbors wonder what the red smear is above their garage. Sizzles, to everyone's relief, was forbidden from mowing any more by his parents after he chopped down his father's prized cherry sapling. When asked if he had mowed over it, Sizzles replied, "I cannot tell a lie Dad, it was PGI's stupid collision bug. I just bumped the thing and then got sucked directly over the top of it!"

Sizzles' Dad was not amused.

[Cactus In The Rear]

Nightmare1 once made a children's show called "Nightcaring and Nightsharing". It didn't do well with test audiences since he refused to appear in anything but a grim reaper costume.

PS. How dare you say that I drive a prius!? Tanks or GTFO!

Edited by Xanilos, 09 December 2015 - 01:13 AM.

[Sparks Murphey]

Xanilos uses his environmentally friendly hybrid fusion-electric Atlas to play golf with empty spherical gas canisters. That's right, he drives tanks.

I'll see myself out.

[Virlutris]

Sparks practices his mic drop in the mirror with his hairbrush every morning, because he just knows there's going to be a moment that day when he can deliver that perfect reply.

After his post, he reflexively dropped the smartphone he was typing on, and flinched when it hit the floor.

Ed: teh spelins

Edited by Virlutris, 09 December 2015 - 10:34 PM.