915 replies to this topic

[Linksdx]

583. Stop bullying the rookies if you keep doing we'll bring out the veterans that you knew as rookies see how Mitch you like that

[Tustle]

584. There will be no blaming your mech' for your own incompetence. Your getting shot down is Always your fault.
(blatant redirection? Destroy him!)

585. ALWAYS. Your fault. That's right, we added another tip to emphasize that it's always your fault.

586. 'We' are not the 'Knights who say Ni.' The next Mechwarrior to tell the rookies that our company is called 'The Knights who say Ni' will be scrubbing the bathrooms clean every week for the next ten months. With their toothbrush.

[StompingOnTanks]

587. Only the company commander may say "'Tis but a scratch!" and threaten to bite the enemy's knees off if his Atlas is armed and legged.

[Cactus In The Rear]

587. if you get a kill while armless and legless then you can say "Tis but a scratch!".

[Sparks Murphey]

Linksdx, on 12 March 2014 - 09:00 PM, said:

ok my brain shut-down almost instantly that and my lack of understanding XD

577. do not abandon the atlas just because they are slow everyday hundreds are killed because they are abandoned by there faster team mates and when they get attacked when there alone they get blamed for not keeping up so please please please keep the atlas within sight range
(dont get why people abandon D-DC do people not want ECM protection or something?)

Hey! That was USEFUL and SOUND ADVICE. This is NON-combat tips!

589: Having an ECM suite on your 'Mech does not give you an excuse to pretend it is interfering with your communications and thus can't hear your CO giving you orders you don't like so you can be a maverick who doesn't play by the rules. Command staff are well aware that the suite and your comm unit are tuned to work with each other, and if they fail, we wouldn't be receiving your telemetry data.

[Linksdx]

Sparks Murphey, on 14 March 2014 - 02:34 PM, said:

Hey! That was USEFUL and SOUND ADVICE. This is NON-combat tips!

.

Sorry was havering a bad day when I posted that ( 100% abdonment in 20+ missions )

[Scurry]

590: Yes, we know your Atlas keeps getting left behind when working with the rookies. No, it does not mean you can build Mech-sized roller skates and lasso the nearest Jenner for a tow. Mechwarrior Hawk has already been given punishment duty for skidding through the local pub in his Atlas on a pair of 18-wheelers.

[StompingOnTanks]

591. You are never to question how 100-ton mechs don't sink into the ground or break their legs under their own weight while on or off duty! Go take your fancy-ass physics somewhere else, like goddamn Tankland.

[SnagaDance]

592. You are not the 'crack suicide squad from the Judean People's Front', so being roflstomped is not to be considered 'another succesful mission'.

[Cactus In The Rear]

593. You are not to put scrap all over your mech and yell WAAAAAAAAAAGH! before each match.

Edited by Xanilos, 15 March 2014 - 10:01 AM.

[StompingOnTanks]

594. Any pilot who refers to Commandos as "Imps", Centurions as "Knight Guardians", Hunchbacks as "Orcs" or Atlases as "Stone Golems" will have their board game privileges suspended for a week.

[Linksdx]

Xanilos, on 15 March 2014 - 09:45 AM, said:

593. You are not to put scrap all over your mech and yell WAAAAAAAAAAGH! before each match.

is just paintign it red and yelling WAAAAAAAGH ok? or in a light screaming red ones go fasta

Edited by Linksdx, 15 March 2014 - 06:43 PM.

[IraqiWalker]

Linksdx, on 15 March 2014 - 06:43 PM, said:

is just paintign it red and yelling WAAAAAAAGH ok? or in a light screaming red ones go fasta

No! Paint it purple!

Cuz purple is da sneeky one.

[Linksdx]

IraqiWalker, on 15 March 2014 - 06:46 PM, said:

No! Paint it purple!

Cuz purple is da sneeky one.

595. all assaults are to paint there mechs eather blue cos blue is da luckyest ,,black cos cos black mechs are real ard or yellow cos yellowy makes things more explody

[Tustle]

596. Regardless of how tough and/or hard they may be, the MRE's issued on extended sorties are not to be used as replacements for the depleted uranium in the penetrators of your Autocannon's bullets.

597. Utter respect and care is a must when it comes to your Battlemech; or at least when the technicians are around. Some of them are especially obsessive when it comes to the care and maintenance of these machines, you see.

598. Appropriate punishment awaits the pilot who spread those rumors around that the female technicians all have a 'Battlemech Fetish.' Equally appropriate punishment awaits the first pilot to suggest they instead have a 'cold, long, and hard tool fetish.'

599. Don't eat the yellow paint. That has been treated with lead in an attempt to slow the charged neutrons involved in a PPC bolt.

600. For your own personal safety, never throw pilots turning sixty 'surprise big six oh' parties.
600 b. Feel free to throw a party involving the six hundredth tip made however. No we don't know how that'll work.

[SnagaDance]

Tank Man, on 15 March 2014 - 10:54 PM, said:

600 b. Feel free to throw a party involving the six hundredth tip made however. No we don't know how that'll work.

Feel free you say?!



Ok, I'll be leaving now....................................

[Alaskan Nobody]

Tank Man, on 15 March 2014 - 10:54 PM, said:

597. Utter respect and care is a must when it comes to your Battlemech; or at least when the technicians are around. Some of them are especially obsessive when it comes to the care and maintenance of these machines, you see.

They start talking about the Omnisiah, then we start really worrying, until then, they are just being engineers.

[StompingOnTanks]

601. Playing anime theme songs over open comms while impersonating anime mech pilots and making overly dramatic entrances may make you the coolest dude in the Battallion, but it won't replace tactics and common sense. Please don't confuse the two, we've already lost three super-cool dudes this week.
602. Nobody is allowed to ask Commander Stomping or Head Technician Smitt about the Gundoom. Ever. And no, you can't have one.
603. Beam sabers haven't been invented yet, when in close combat, please stop reaching for laser swords that aren't there.
604. You may not use the nearest friendly tank as a replacement for your non-existent laser sword. However, if there's an enemy tank nearby, knock yourself out.

[SnagaDance]

605. Please stop telling the disposessed mechwarriors they'll be able to make themselves a new mech out of a few sheets of corrugated metal and that old tractor in the shed by using only a blow torch and humming 'the A-Team song'. You are just being mean. Remember, that might be you post next battle.

[Linksdx]

SnagaDance, on 16 March 2014 - 09:51 AM, said:

605. Please stop telling the disposessed mechwarriors they'll be able to make themselves a new mech out of a few sheets of corrugated metal and that old tractor in the shed by using only a blow torch and humming 'the A-Team song'. You are just being mean. Remember, that might be you post next battle.

and if they succeed?